Santa Clause Reviews Penis Pills?

We thought that might get your attention.

No Santa does not review penis pills because that would be just silly. However here is something that is not so silly and actually quite serious.
Another 100% biased review site has popped up on the internet.

Like we have said before, we have been in the industry reviewing products for over a decade now and nothing gets us more frustrated than seeing new review sites pop up on the net whose sole purpose appears to be ripping people off.

Here is an parody of the creation of the 100% biased review site scam that we found listed at the top of the search engines that is listing products ‘claimed’ to be endorsed by an 80’s porn star. We will use Santa in place of the porn star’s name because the porn star’s name is trademarked and the last thing we want is to get sued while exposing the truth.

“Ripping People Off….The How To Guide”

The Website: This is where we would insert a catchy video of Santa telling us that he knows everything about penis enlargement pills simply because he is Santa. He would sit in his sleigh and tell and tell unsuspecting customers that the products he lists are the best products in the world and that they are guaranteed to make you bigger, “that’s right… bigger”. He might even try to make you comfortable by saying that every other product but his are a scam while he feeds you his left over cookies and milk.

As the operators of the site we would pay Santa handsomely for his endorsement of our brand new male enhancement products.

Now for the marketing of the site. We could create our own products that no one has ever heard of before.  We will be sure to throw in other brands that people may recognize from the more reputable review sites in order to give us some credibility. We can stick the other brands at the bottom of the page so that the potential customers reading the site will think that our products are the best.

We need a name. Hmmm, Let’s call it something catchy like Santa XL because Santa must have a big penis right? Well, okay maybe not. Let’s call the brand SizeGenix or SizeVitrexx or TransformXL which give the unsuspecting reader hope.  Perfect, to start we’ll use all 3 of those names and then list them on the site! We should have more names ready as a backup because we know that these names are only temporary. After all we will be switching the products out next month because of all of the returns, refunds and general complaints that we are going to get from our customers who buy them. Our bogus claims of massive gains in penis size will sure make trustworthy customers buy the stuff and sales will come flying through the door.

We can rank SizeGenix as the #1 brand on the list. SizeGenix sounds catchy and we can make up big words like ‘vasogenic expansion technology’ in order to pretend that the product does something that our competitors can’t match. As soon as the backlash from the customers who buy the product get upset because the product won’t work as advertised, we can switch it out of our rankings and call it something else. Don’t worry about having to create a new website or anything because we can just change the label on the bottle when the time comes and photo shop it in.
We don’t even have to worry about changing the Santa video and his endorsement of the brands listed because Santa purposely will not to mention any actual brand names in the first place.

Oh no! The complaints came sooner than later and SizeGenix is labelled a scam all over the internet. Speaking of labels… let’s hurry up and slap a new label on that bottle and call it  ‘SizeVitrexx’!

Wait! Where is Santa in all of this? Oh that’s right, he is still there telling everyone who visits the site that he still knows what the best brands are when it comes to making your penis bigger.

Once this scam runs its course then we can go to plan B.

Plan B: Let’s get the Easter Bunny to be the endorser of our new site. We can pretend the Easter Bunny is a Doctor by giving him a fancy white coat. We can make up fake Doctors names and make the whole site look official and rinse and repeat the whole process and scam even more people!

The End

Beware of any website that sounds too good to be true. SizeGenix will NOT add massive size to your penis like the website states. We consider that type of marketing 100% fraud and so does the FDA and the FTC. Please stay away from bogus review sites that promote brands like that and you will do just fine. They will be under investigation soon enough if not already.

 

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